Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Girly Cait vs Nerd Cait

So I stayed up late last night watching Tuck Everlasting, and counting and rereading my Letters from Lance....essentially loosing my Tomboy card, which I will have no hope to regain until  I see Captain America, in theaters.
But then, after awing and weeping and into my Haagen Dazs, I eentered Literary Nerd mode- most likely this was a natural defense mechanism against the encroaching disease of Girly Cait - and promptly analyzed the movie.

And this is the conclusion that I reached...Winnie...is a bitch.

I mean seriously! The way the movie ends - spoilers ahead sorry...not that I think anyone reading this is actually that intent on watching Tuck Everlasting - it wants to leave you thinking "Oh it's totally ok she decided not to drink from the well, good for you girl! Make up your own mind, live a full life, awesome. You're totally right, immortality probably isn't all it's cracked up to be." and you're happy at the end of the movie. And then the credits role, and everyone leaves happy for Winnie.

But I must ask...what about Tuck. What about the dude who's now immortal, who we left sitting at the grave of the girl he loved. The movie's like "Hey, be happy for Winnie!" but no dear movie - and book - I will not be! Because Winnie is a bitch! Let's look at the facts, hmm?

1- Tuck practically gives her the gift of immortality. He's pretty much set for every Valentines day after this....ever. And what does Winnie do with this awesomesauce gift? She throws it away. Seals it over with concrete to be exact.


2- This brings us to our second "Why Winnie is a bitch" fact  - SHE SEALS OVER THE WELL OF IMMORTALITY WITH CONCRETE! So she essentially took away the right of anyone ever, to decide for themselves if they want immortality. Hey, Winnie, you got to choose for yourself if it was a curse or a gift - why not let other people have the same damn chance.

Bitch AND Immortality Cock Blocker.

3- Tuck's poor poor brother recounts his tragedy to Winnie - the whole story of his wife leaving him, growing old and dying, and she sees first hand the after effects this plays on his immortal mind and the fact that now he has to live with that sorrow...forever, and yet she thinks "Hey, no big deal, I'll just do the same exact damn thing to Tuck."

Time-Spanning Bitch.

4- Let's not forget the fact that Tuck loves her. TOTALLY LOVES HER. And she was all like "I love you too!" when he leaves. But apparently.....she was just kidding.

5- Not only does she move on...she moves on, marries another dude, has children, and then DIES. Worst. Insult. Ever.

6- Let's not forget the very very important fact that Tuck actually loves her. THE DUDE LOVES HER! I mean come on! He waited a century for her! A CENTURY! (Granted that was poor planning on his part, he could've waited a year or two instead)

It all basically adds up to the fact that Tuck completely loved her, and will until he dies (which by the way is oh...NEVER) and Winnie, Winnie is a Mega-Bitch.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Dippin Dots

I remember how much I wanted - no needed - the Dippin Dots Icecream when I was a kid. I only ever saw it in these giant vending machines - which helped aid in the awesomeness - at the Kennedy Space Center, where of course they were advertised as the "ice cream of the future!". I always imagined kids in bright pastel one-piece clothing running around through clear tubes in space, chasing after a hovering ice cream truck driving through some floating space metropolis, shoveling  the adorable little beads of dairy goodness into their futuristic mouths. So of course I had to have it too. I would always tug on my mom as we passed by, pleading for it, and I would always get the same response: that it was too expensive, and that for less money my mom would buy me a carton of icecream on the way home. But that...that was devastatingly "present". How was I supposed to be like Buzz Aldrin if I was stuck eating normal icecream scoops? So I would always pout - "Mom! I don't care that it costs like 5 dollars! It's in little beads- like styrofoam packaging! ASTRONAUTS EAT IT! I. NEED. IT!"

Of course that amazing Franklin and Bash style rebuttal got me no where, and each time I would eat my cornily space-themed kids meal in silent malice, chewing the space nuggets with scorn, imagining them to be the souls of each lucky kid I watched march up to the machine and walk away with a precious bit of Dippin Dots in their cupped hands.

Years later, as an adult I found myself again, face to face with the wonderous Dippin Dots machine. I stared into it's glass menagerie and hugged the over-sized vending machine, whispering to the selection buttons,
"We meet again!"
But this time there was no mother to say no.
This time I had my own money.
This time. I would be victorious.

I giddily fed the machine my money, not noticing the passerbys who eyed me with "wtf" glances, as I most likely sang a made up song about the amazing-ness of Dippin Dots while I punched in my selection. And then, as if mana from heaven, the machine lovingly dropped a little plastic cup into my hands. I skipped away, looking down at my prize thinking,
"Future - I have arrived!"
And promptly ripped the plastic lining off the top, ready for my mind to be blown....

And then.....my world was shattered.

Because you see...the main allure to Dippin Dots is that you get a mixed flavor, and then the food greets your eyes with joyous pinks and browns and whites, or greens, or whatever flavor you picked - and you feel like you've hopped into a Delorian and sped off the to future. But I...I had picked Vanilla......Vanilla. What kind of future kid am I?!

So all that greeted my over-excited eyes was a tiny plastic bowl filled with...tiny plastic-looking color-less beads. It looked like a McDonald's ball pit that had the all the fun sucked out of it. To protect my fragile space dream, I rallied a plastic smile to match and thought - "It's future ice cream! Everything's white and grey in the future!"

And then I tried a bite.
And then put the spoon down.
And apologized to my mother. Because it tasted like styrofoam.

I walked away from the Dippin Dots machine that day, 5 dollars poorer and disappointed.

And I thought - "Poor, poor astronauts."

Thursday, May 26, 2011

My Captain America

Lance officially started his first day in basic training today. I saw him off Tuesday, and teary eyed, his mom and I watched him walk into the Army Office. Okay so he didn't walk as much as do his Little-Game-face-Lance-Swagger. And as much as I miss him right now, and as much as it took everything to smile for him, I am happy that he finally gets to go do what he's so excited about, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

And today starts the Red Phase or Phase 1 of his OSUT Basics (Infantry One Station Unit Training). Each phase is about 3 weeks long, and in the Red Phase he gets to learn some fun stuff like the Confidence Tower and Rappel, Hand to Hand Combat, and his introduction to the M16A4......who I think he's been itching to meet.

And hopefully he'll be able to start sending letters in this phase, because I'm not going to make it through 14 weeks by staring at the calendar.

<=What my Captain America will be doing :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Sam, help me out here.

So I recently treated myself to a Dr. Pepper. Just one. I had been craving one for a couple days, purely for the taste, and thought "Just one. I have discipline now, I won't fall back into my crazy soda spiral."

And you know what...

I was right!

YES! It was an awesome feeling! One was enough! That was all I needed! In fact, by the time I was reaching the end of it, I found myself thinking "Ick, this is super sugary, geez can it just be empty now!" and then afterwards I didn't grab another one, I didn't want one, no need for that crazy mind trip I would always fall into, the whole "Well now that I've had one...".

Nope....I simply treated myself. I felt like I deserved it. A tasty little treat at the end of a long and tiresome day, and at the end of a long and frustrating battle with the stupid soda cravings. So I had one, and when I was finished I slammed the empty powerless can down on our kitchen counter and was all like:

Thursday, April 14, 2011


YES! Finally, the tea is all mine!

Yesterday I finally bought some Golden Monkey tea to take home with me, and of course the funky little tea steeper/strainer they sell as well, and in a bout of procrastination I felt the need to tell you all.

But anyway, now my real tea adventure can begin, since now I plan on trying new teas during my break and hopefully bringing some home. Basically my goal is to become a mini-Teavana at home and bug my parents with my endless talk about dying baby seals and how carrots have souls too while I brew my tea.

God, I hope this blog doesn't turn into serial-killer obsession level rants about these teas....

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Forgetting the Past

This was actually a really awesome article on Archaeology and viewing the past as a collective memory, that I had to read for my Anthropological Theory class. It is a bit long, 6 pages, for a "fun-on-your-own-time" read, but it is crazy interesting.

Although, when I read it, I did feel like I was reading an archaeological version of Inception...so it would probably be a good read to pair with some Hans Zimmer music in the background.


Monday, April 4, 2011

The Victory and the Golden Monkey

So as of today, I have had a week of no soda at all! It wasn't that bad, although I did get a little frustrated with my choices of drinks when I was out and about. But other than that it was smooth sailing, especially since I found an awesome little tea shop right next to where I work. It's called Teavana, and although it does carry heavy amounts of "oh we're soooo special and all these teas are imported soooo specially from China for you and we're soooo expensive because of this. (even though it's really just because we cater to thin girls with tribal tattoos, dread hair and carrying hemp bags, or the ever persistent rich old lady who has nothing better to do than buy our "hand-crafted" dragon tea pots and have tea parties with their border-line racist friends, but it's ok cause hey, that was the time back then.)" it actually has some pretty kick ass teas!

Like the Golden Monkey for example, my new favorite tea. It's a black tea, so it has the caffeine I need - without chugging soda - and tastes like a gingersnap cookie when it's brewed hot! The very same gingersnap cookies that my Mimi brings down from Delaware for us every once in while! Man do I miss those things, but I miss the people who eat them more! But yeah...the tea. It's pretty awesome, and tastes just as delicious iced...just not like the cookie. Now, the key is not to become my boring old self and stick to the same tea each time. I was told next time, I should try a mix....the Spicy Monkey. I'm not exactly sure what this means...but I'm looking forward to reaching Teavana!